Art and Stealth

"You don't know what real music is!" said Zack looking straight into the camera through dark sunglasses. He had a collendar on his head and a garbage bag with holes cut out for his arms on his upper body. There was an array of pots and pans laid out in front of him. He held a couple of large, wooden stirring spoons. He struck a couple of the pots with the spoons and then added, "You ain't heard nothing yet!"

Music began to play and Zack acted as if he were playing drums and singing. There was a basic, crude bass line and a drum beat. Zack lip-synched to these words:

	I got stuck by the needles of a cactus
	I got bitten by a viscious, nasty snake
	I was beat up by the wind and burnt by the sun
	I don't know how much more I can take

"That was dumb!" admitted Zack after viewing one of their old videos with his friend Zeke.

"Yeah, I'd say so, but it was still a lot of work," said Zeke.

"And if your mom caught us wasting a garbage bag like that, she would have been awfully mad," said Zack.

"No kidding! And I don't know if it would have been worth it either. That video wasn't too good!" said Zeke.

The boys laughed and then Zeke added, "What about that one video where we had to use all that spaghetti? You're mom would have been really mad if she knew about that one!"

"I saw her looking around the kitchen two days after we shot that one," said Zack.

"Do we still have that one?" asked Zack.

"Yeah," said Zeke trying to find the file on his computer. After a little looking around Zeke found it and launched it.

"You can tell if a noodle is fully cooked by throwing it against the wall. If it sticks, it's done," said Zeke with a poor imitation of an Italian accent. Zeke had on an apron and he was standing behind the stove in Zack's kitchen pretending to be the host on a television cooking show. Zeke used a fancy spoon to pull some noodles out of a pot of steaming water. He pinched a single noodle from the group of noodles and then threw it up against a nearby wall. The camera zoomed in on the noodle.

"See, that one's done," said Zeke.

The camera panned back to Zeke.

"There are many tricks to cooking the perfect noodle and if you watch my special this Wednesday I will reveal them all to you," said Zeke. "You watch my show and you learn much about the art of cooking!"

"Yeah, we spent a lot of time cooking those noodles and then we just threw them away all for thirty seconds of video," said Zeke.

"If my mom caught us I would have been in major trouble and all for a little commercial!" said Zack.

"Yep, that's the way it goes sometimes." Zeke paused and then asked, "Remember the one where we had to use all those paper plates and the cans of whipped cream?" Zeke started locating this video file as he asked his question.

"Yeah, my mom got mad at my sister and accused her of giving them to a friend for a party or something," said Zack.

The boys laughed at the idea of Zack's sister getting in trouble for something she didn't do and then Zeke asked, "Didn't we call that one 'The Tower of Pie'?" Zeke looked around on his computer and then said, "Ah, here it is!"

"Today we are watching a boy build a huge tower out of pies," said Zeke pretending to be a news reporter.

Zack squirted some whipped cream on a plate and added the plate to a tower of pies.

"How many pies are in your tower so far?" asked Zeke.

"There are forty-one so far," said Zack.

The camera panned for a quick inspection of the stack of pies.

"And what is your goal?" asked Zeke.

"Fifty-five," said Zack as he filled another plate with whipped cream and added it to his stack of pies.

"What are you trying to prove?" asked Zeke.

"I am trying to prove that you can stack a lot of pies into a pile," said Zack as he added another pie to the stack.

"Why is that important to you?" asked Zeke.

"It's something I've always wanted to do ever since I was really little. It is my life's work," said Zack with a gesture which emphasized his deep, emotional commitment to this goal.

"Wow. That's incredible. How long have you been working on this so far?" asked Zeke.

Zack paused before answering this question and then said, "About seven or eight minutes."

"You work quickly. How much concentration does it take?" asked Zeke.

Zack placed another pie on the growing stack and said, "Not much."

"You are very talented indeed," said Zeke. "How many more pies do you need before you are done?" asked Zeke.

"Well, let's see, this one is fifty-one and so I need four more," said Zack.

Zeke said, "This pyramid of pies has ten on the bottom layer and then nine on the next layer and then eight and then so forth until you get to the top." He pointed at the layers and the camera zoomed in for a close inspection of the construction of the tower.

"You are wrong. It is not a pyramid, it is a tower. A tower of pies is what it is," said Zack adding the fifty-third pie.

The can of whipped cream sputtered as Zack sprayed more whipped cream onto the fifty-fourth plate.

"Are you running out of whipped cream?" asked Zeke.

"I will have enough. I planned carefully," said Zack placing the fifty-fourth pie on the stack. The can of whipped cream sputtered even more as Zack prepared the fifty-fifth pie, but he managed to fill the plate with the full amount of whipped cream. He placed it on the pie pyramid and then he placed a single cherry on the top of the top pie. Finally, he said, "There it is done!"

"You witnessed it for yourself people. An incredible tower of fifty-five delicious pies. An amazing feat unlike anything ever done by any other chef ever in the history of cooking," said Zeke. Then Zeke asked, "How do you feel now that you have accomplished your goal?"

"Ah, I am tired. I think I'll go take a nap," said Zack.

"And you probably need to rest after all that work!" said Zeke in conclusion.

"If we had to buy our own stuff we'd be in trouble," said Zeke.

"Yeah, we'd never be able to afford all those plates or all that whipped cream," said Zack.

"It's a good thing we were able to get rid of all that stuff without anyone seeing," said Zeke.

"That's what's so cool about the shack!" said Zack. The boys shot "The Tower of Pie" in an old abandoned shack out in the middle of the desert. They were able to smuggle the pie plates and whipped cream out of their houses and then make their video out there without being caught. They just dug a shallow hole and buried the plates and whipped cream when they were done.

"What about the time we took your sister's teddy bear?" asked Zeke as he began searching for that file.

"Oh, yeah, that was fun," said Zack.

Zeke launched a file for a video they called "Teddy Bear Football."

"Hut one. Hut Two. Hut Three. Hike!" said Zack.

Zeke hiked a teddy bear and then ran out for a pass. Zack threw the bear and Zeke caught it.

Zack was shown next talking directly to the camera. "Throwing the bear is a bit like slapping your sister. The harder you throw it, the louder she screams. But that's not important! What's important is that you learn proper passing technique." Zack tossed the bear from his right to his left hand several times as he said this.

"First of all, you grip the bear on its side between its hips and its arm like this," said Zack. The camera zoomed in for a close up view of Zack's grip on the teddy bear.

"When you release the bear you need to snap your wrist to give it a good spin. It's not good enough just to let it roll off your finger tips, you've got to release it with a good snap to get the bear spinning like a top," explained Zack as he demonstrated the arm swing and wrist release motion.

"Finally, you want to hit your receiver in the chest with the bear. You don't want to throw it too high or too low since your receiver will have a tougher time catching it then," added Zack.

The camera now showed Zack and Zeke. Zack held the teddy bear and Zeke stood about ten feet away waiting for Zack to throw it to him.

"Putting it together you grip the bear on the side, you release the bear with a snap, and you aim for your receiver's chest. It's as easy as one, two, three," said Zack as he threw the teddy bear to Zeke.

Zeke caught the bear and held it up victoriously.

Zack appeared on the camera by himself to make his final statement. "If you follow these simple steps, you too can learn proper teddy bear throwing technique." Zack pointed straight at the camera as he said the word "you."

"That bear was pretty dirty when I snuck it back into my sister's room," said Zack.

"Do you think she noticed?" asked Zeke.

"I don't know, but if she slapped it, a ton of dust would have come out of it," said Zack.

The boys laughed.

"I know another one where we wasted a lot of stuff," said Zack.

"Which one?" asked Zeke getting ready to find the file on his computer.

"Remember the one where we shot all the fruit?" asked Zack.

"Oh, yeah, didn't we call that one 'Shooting Fruit'?" asked Zeke.

"I think so or something like that," said Zack.

Zeke found and launched the video in less than a couple seconds.

"I bet I can shoot a cantelope off your head," said Zack.

"I bet you can't," said Zeke.

Zack led Zeke to the side of the outhouse out by the old shack in the desert and had him stand up against it. Next Zack placed a cantelope on Zeke's head. Zeke was then shown standing up against the outhouse with the melon on his head.

Next Zack was shown picking up a bow and arrow and aiming it. Zack released the arrow and in the next shot Zeke was shown with the melon on his head and with an arrow stuck in the melon.

"Wow! You're a good shot," said Zeke.

"Thanks," said Zack.

"I bet I could shoot a grapefruit off your head," said Zeke.

"Go ahead and try. I bet you miss!" said Zack.

"I bet I don't," said Zeke.

Zack took his place up against the side of the outhouse and Zeke placed a grapefruit on his head.

Zack was shown against the outhouse in a straight on shot and then Zeke was shown putting an arrow in the bow. Zeke aimed the arrow and released it. Next Zack was shown standing under the grapefruit which was pinned to the grapefruit. Zack dropped out from under the grapefruit and said, "Not bad!"

"Yeah, I am a pretty good shot aren't I?" said Zeke.

"But I can do even better. I bet I can shoot an apple off your head," said Zack.

"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. How do you expect to shoot an apple off my head?" asked Zeke.

"Watch and learn," said Zack.

So, Zack placed an apple on Zeke's head and took the bow and arrow. He aimed and released and the next frame showed an apple with an arrow through it on top of Zeke's head.

"That was pretty good for an amateur, but I can do even better. I bet I can shoot a grape off your head," said Zeke.

"Go ahead and try. I'll laugh when you miss!" said Zack.

The boys set up for this shot and as was with the other shots, the arrow wound up right through the middle of the grape.

"Okay, not bad," said Zack. Zack thought for a moment and then said, "But I can do even better. I can shoot a single blueberry off your head!"

"Go for it. You'll probably just miss," said Zeke.

"I never miss!" said Zack.

This time after all the set up for the shot, Zeke was shown with the arrow sticking out of his forehead.

"Told you that you'd miss," said Zeke as he sat down against the outhouse.

"I only missed because you jumped," said Zack.

"So, I still made you miss!" said Zeke falling over sideways.

"Only because you jumped," said Zack kicking Zeke who was now apparently dead.

"That video wasn't really all that wasteful because we ate most of the fruit," said Zeke.

"Yeah, we just threw some of the cantelope and the grapefruit away," said Zack.

"I don't think my mom ever missed the grapefruit," said Zeke.

"My mom said she thought we had a cantelope, but she never figured out what happened to it," said Zack.

"I can think of another video we made where we wasted a lot of stuff," said Zeke as he looked for the video he was thinking of.

"I bet you're thinking of the one with all the pop corn," said Zack.

"Exactly," said Zeke as he launched a video called, "Swimming Lessons." The props used in this video were a small wading pool and enough popcorn to fill it. It took the boys nearly two hours to pop enough popcorn to fill the pool.

"It is very important that you boys and girls learn to swim and I'm here to show you how," began Zeke. He wore swimming shorts and he had on swimming fins, a diving mask, and a snorkel.

"Before entering the pool, it is important that you check to make sure that it is free of obstructions which could cause death or injury. Once you see that the way is clear, enter the water," explained Zeke as he stepped into the wading pool filled with popcorn.

He sat down in the popcorn and then said, "The first stroke I'm going to demonstrate is called the popcorn paddle. It goes like this." Zeke moved onto his side and then demonstrated the moves as he explained them. "First you extend one arm above your head and then you stroke. Do the same with the other arm. Repeat this movement over and over while kicking your feet and you will have the popcorn paddle down in no time.

Next Zack was shown lying in the popcorn. He had on his swimsuit and appeared to be enjoying himself in the popcorn filled pool. Zeke stepped in front of the camera and said, "It is important that you are prepared to rescue other swimmers who don't have proper swimming skills. If you encounter a swimmer in distress you must pull him out of the pool and clear his air way like this."

Zack acted like he was drowning in the popcorn. So, Zeke stepped into the pool and rolled Zack out of the pool.

"To clear the air way you roll the victim on his side and slap him on the back like this," explained Zeke.

Zeke demonstrated this and Zack coughed up some popcorn, opened his eyes, and said, "You saved my life!"

"That's how it's done. So, remember the you have the power to save a life if you learn proper swimming skills," said Zeke in conclusion.

"In which video did we waste the most stuff?" asked Zack thinking back over the videos they'd just reviewed.

"I don't know. The whipped cream and paper plates probably cost the most, but shooting the fruit probably wasn't cheap either," said Zeke.

"But we used an awful lot of pop corn for the swimming video," said Zack.

"Yeah, but pop corn is cheap!" said Zeke.

"But what about the electricity to pop it?" asked Zack.

"I don't know. You have a point, maybe," said Zeke.

"I'd hate to have to repay my parents for all the stuff we borrowed from them for our videos. You'd better make sure they never see them," said Zack.

"Don't worry, I'm putting them in a safe place," said Zeke.

"Good," said Zack.

Zeke created a special folder on his computer to store all the videos he and Zack had just looked at. He called the folder "JUNK VIDEOS" since he didn't want anyone thinking they were anything worth looking at. Zeke's parents and siblings never used his computer, but he decided that it would be a good idea to keep these videos in a separate folder on his computer so that he didn't accidentally show them to anyone.

"I don't think I'm going to let my parents see any of these videos until I'm like thirty or so, because I could get in a lot of trouble if they knew about all this stuff," said Zeke.

"No kidding and if your parents saw them, they'd tell my parents and then I'd be in a lot of trouble too," said Zack. Then he added, "Maybe we should just destroy the evidence and not take the chance."

"Naw. I like some of those videos and besides after all we went through it would be a waste to just throw them away," said Zeke.

"But still, what if someone sees them?" asked Zack.

"They won't. I guarantee," said Zeke.