"Anything is possible, but some things just aren't very probable," said Andy's father.
"The new teacher at school is one of them," said Jeff.
"There's enough of them moving into town, it's not surprising that one of them got hired as a teacher," said Andy's father.
"But she's really weird. I didn't think they hired weird people to be teachers," said Andy.
"Her personal life doesn't matter. It's whether or not she can do her job, that matters," said Andy's father.
"But she almost sort of looks like a lizard," said Jeff.
"Yeah, and she sort of talks like she's off in space somewhere," said Andy.
"That may be, but she's still a teacher and so you've got to treat her with respect," said Andy's father.
"Okay, dad," said Andy, playing the part of the obedient son.
It was Sunday afternoon and all the talk about lizards made Andy and Jeff want to go out and catch some. So, they walked out to the edge of town into the desert to where there were a bunch of boulders and rocks and started hunting for lizards. After about twenty minutes they had caught three little lizards which they kept in a coffee can. While they were working on catching their fourth lizard, they noticed a couple of brand new 1956 sedans stop by the side of the road about forty yards away. A total of eight people got out and stood by the cars staring straight at the boys.
"What's wrong with them?" asked Jeff.
"I don't know," said Andy feeling just a little uncomfortable.
"Maybe we should get out of here," said Jeff.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," said Andy.
The boys started walking towards town. The eight people who had been staring at them walked toward Andy and Jeff. When the gap between the boys and the eight people was about fifteen yards, one of the men in the group said, "What do you have in the can boys?" in a very bland manner.
Jeff and Andy stopped and faced the group. The group also stopped moving toward the boys.
"Just a bunch of lizards," said Andy.
Three of the people in the group bristled at this and the man who had already spoken said, "Don't you think you ought to let them go?"
"Why they're just lizards?" said Jeff.
There were alarmed looks on the faces of four of the people in the group and three had very calm expressions. The man who had done all the talking up to this point also had a very calm demeaner. He said, "Just lizards? Don't you think that they would rather be free?" He said this in a very plain manner without any hint of emotion in his voice.
It was at this point that Jeff recognized one of the people in the group to be the new teacher that they had spoken of with Andy's father a half hour or so earlier. "Isn't that the new teacher?" whispered Jeff to Andy.
"Yeah, I think so," said Andy.
"So, what are you going to do boys? Are you going to let the nice lizards go?" asked the man.
"No, they're our lizards and we're keeping them," said Andy.
The man took a step toward the boys.
Andy and Jeff took off running. They kept running all the way back to Andy's house. They heard the man say, "I was just going to tell you about what wonderful creatures lizards are," but they didn't bother replying to his comment.
When the boys entered Andy's house, Andy's father noticed that they were out of breath. "Sounds like you guys are a little winded," he said.
"We just saw some of the Lizard People," said Jeff.
"So?" asked Andy's father.
"They're really weird," said Jeff.
"Yeah, they came up and talked to us when we were catching lizards," said Andy.
"And they starred at us too," said Jeff.
"Hmmm. Doesn't sound like any big deal to me," said Andy's father.
"They wanted us to let our lizards go," said Andy.
"Well, I hear that they worship lizards or something like that," said Andy's father.
"Huh? How could anyone worship lizards?" asked Jeff.
"Well, according to Gordy down at the General Store, they believe that a race of superior beings from another planet look just like lizards," said Andy's father.
"That's stupid," said Jeff.
"Yeah, lizards aren't smart," said Andy.
"No, I don't suppose they are, but these Lizard People, as you call them, believe that the ones from outer space, at least, are very intelligent," said Andy's father.
"How can they believe a thing like that?" asked Andy.
"Who knows? But the thing about people is that they seem to be able to find a way to believe in just about anything no matter how stupid it is," said Andy's father.
The next day at school during recess, Andy and Jeff noticed that the new teacher was on recess duty. It wasn't long before she noticed them. She blew her whistle at them and motioned with her finger for them to approach her. "You boys were running on the walkways. You, go sit by the gate, and you, go sit at the end of the fence," she said as she pointed to each of the locations. Andy and Jeff wanted to argue with her and tell her that they weren't running, but they knew better than to talk back to a teacher. Although she was a fourth grade teacher and they were sixth graders, she was the teacher on duty during recess that day and they had to follow her directions.
On the way in from recess Andy said to Jeff, "She made us sit because of what happened yesterday."
"I think you're right," said Jeff.
The boys weren't too happy about being deprived of their playtime, but there wasn't anything they could do about it. No one would take them seriously. It was their word against a teacher's and there was no way that Andy's father was going to make a big deal over something as small as being timed out at recess.
The next day at school, the same teacher had recess duty and she made the boys sit again, only this time she said that she had seen them spit on the sidewalk.
"How can she do that to us?" asked Jeff as they walked back to class.
"She can do pretty much what she wants when she's in charge," said Andy.
Suddenly, the new fourth grade teacher said from just behind the boys, "I hope you boys will remember to be nice to lizards from now on."
"Yes, Ma'am," said Andy.
"Yes, Ma'am," mumbled Jeff.
There were no kids near them and the teacher. It was as if they were in a little, momentary bubble with the Lizard Lady, as they began calling her starting with Andy's next statement.
After she passed on down the hallway, Andy said, "Where'd the Lizard Lady come from?"
"I don't know, it was like she was just all of a sudden right behind us," said Jeff.
That evening, as was often the case, Jeff ate over at Andy's house with Andy and Andy's father. After dinner, Andy's father was sitting in the living room reading the newspaper and listening to the radio. The boys were playing checkers. After a few moments, Andy's father said, "Here's an interesting article you boys might want to hear about. It seems that the Lizard People all showed up at the mayor's office this morning and demanded that a local ordinance be made banning people from catching lizards in the desert."
"What? They can't do that!" said Andy.
"Yeah, that's crazy," said Jeff.
"Well, crazy or not, the paper says that they intend to outlaw lizard hunting in and around our town and that they want to impose a hefty fine on anyone who gets caught breaking the law," said Andy's father.
"So is the mayor going to make the law?" asked Andy.
"Well, it's not that easy. The measure will have to go before the town council and then they'll have to decide what to do about it. The town could wind up voting on it if it gets that far," explained Andy's father.
"How would you vote?" asked Andy.
"Well, I'd have to vote against a law which banned lizard hunting. I think the fewer laws the better and I'm definately against making stupid laws!" said Andy's father.
"How would other people vote?" asked Jeff.
"There's no telling. I would like to think that most people would have enough common sense to vote against a law like that, but the Lizard People could get enough votes to pass the law, you never know," explained Andy's father.
"That's terrible," said Andy.
"Yeah, but there's no perfect system and one of the problems with a democracy is that if you wind up with enough crazy people, you get stuck with crazy laws," said Andy's father. Then he added, "So, if you like hunting lizards, you ought to go out and do it now before they make a law against it!"
The boys laughed and then it got quiet for a moment. Andy got real serious and then he told his father about the Lizard Lady and how she had made Jeff and him sit at recess for no reason.
"Hmmm. I don't like a teacher abusing her power like that," said Andy's father. He paused and thought for a moment and then added, "But, quite frankly, I don't know what we can do about it. The principal will take her word over yours and it's pretty hard for you to prove that she did it just to punish you for hunting lizards last Sunday." Andy's father paused and reflected a moment. Then he shook his head and said, "Naw, there's not much that can be done about this one."
The next day at school the Lizard Lady was on recess duty again and she made Andy and Jeff sit during recess again. This time she said that she heard them say a bad word. Andy was just about out of patience with her, but he forced himself not to say anything and he took his punishment without complaint. Jeff was also close to saying something defiant to the Lizard Lady, but he too was able to contain his anger and refrain from doing anything that would get him in real trouble.
That afternoon, on the way home from school, Jeff and Andy agreed that they'd endured too much mistreatment by the Lizard Lady and that they needed to find a way to exact revenge upon her. They toyed around with several ideas and finally they decided upon a plan which required them to go out and catch many lizards. So, as soon as they got home they went out into the desert to hunt for lizards. They collected more lizards in that one afternoon than they had ever collected before in their entire lives. By the time the sun had set, they had a total of thirty-three lizards, plus the three they had found on Sunday that were in a can at Andy's house.
That evening after dinner, Andy, Jeff, and Andy's father had a little talk about the Lizard People. Andy's father began this conversation by saying, "I found out more about the Lizard People this afternoon from some friends at the mine."
"Oh, really, what'd they say?" asked Andy.
"It's a little bizarre, but I guess they believe that all the lizards on Earth are descendants of lizards from outer space who were smart enough to be able to fly across many solar systems to get here," explained Andy's father.
"If their descendants are so smart, then why are lizards so dumb?" asked Jeff.
"They had a really odd explanation for that. According to my friends at the mine, the Lizard People say that there is some chemical element lacking on Earth that the lizards need in order for their brains to work right," said Andy's father.
"That sounds like a bowl of malarkey," said Jeff.
"Yeah, their brains are too small," said Andy.
"They have an explanation for that too," said Andy's father.
"Yeah, right," said Andy.
"They say that this missing element makes it possible for a brain the size of the lizards' brain to be as powerful as our brains," said Andy's father.
"So would this chemical or whatever it is make us even smarter too?" asked Jeff.
"I really have no idea, you'd have to ask the Lizard People that one," said Andy's father.
"No thanks. I'm staying away from those freaks!" said Jeff.
"Yeah, me too!" said Andy.
Jeff stayed at Andy's house that night as he often did. In fact, Jeff spent more time at Andy's house than he did at his own house. That worked out well for everyone involved. Jeff's mother wasn't the best parent in the world and so it was best this way. Anyways, Jeff and Andy got up real early that morning and took their lizards to school with them. They arrived at school about a half hour before any of the teachers got there. The boys snuck into the Lizard Lady's classroom through an unlocked window and dumped all the lizards into a drawer in her desk.
"We'll see how much she really likes lizards," said Andy with a grin.
The boys then went outside and hid in some bushes and watched as people arrived at school. First the teachers and other school personnel showed up and then students began to arrive. After the Lizard Lady appeared, Andy and Jeff positioned themselves within earshot of her classroom. They waited hopefully outside her classroom, anxiously anticipating a terrified scream. At one point the boys peaked through the window of the Lizard Lady's classroom. They saw her doing some sort of yoga exercise which the Lizard People called the Lizard Position. The first position for this exercise was to lie face down. Next the person doing the exercise raised the upper body until the arms were straight. Finally the head was bent back and the exerciser flicked his or her tongue, like a lizard.
"How strange," said Jeff.
"Yeah, but we already knew she was weird," said Andy.
"True," said Jeff who then flicked his tongue as they had just seen the Lizard Lady do.
Andy flicked his tongue back and said, "Lovely lizards like licking luscious lillies," between tongue flicks.
"What? Don't tell me that you're turning weird too!" said Jeff.
Andy shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just felt like saying that. Don't ask me why."
More and more children arrived and pretty soon the morning bell rung, but there was still no scream or indication that the Lizard Lady had found the lizards. Andy and Jeff filed into their room, which was three rooms down from the Lizard Lady's fourth grade classroom, a few minutes later.
"Maybe she already found them and she bit their heads off for breakfast," said Jeff as they sat down at their desks.
"Or maybe they came out and started to meditate with her," said Andy.
The boys' class got to work pretty quickly that morning. They had the flag salute and roll call. Then there were announcements and then homework was collected. Next the teacher reviewed the spelling words for the week with the class. It was about fifteen minutes later, while the class was silently reading a short story, that everyone in the room was startled by a scream of terror.
"Oh, my gawd, they're everywhere!" screamed the Lizard Lady.
Fourth graders were heard reacting in different ways to what they had witnessed. Some were laughing and some were screaming. Next the Lizard Lady ran out of her classroom and hysterically screamed, "They're awful!"
All the students in all the classrooms near the Lizard Lady's room all got up from their desks and ran outside to see what was going on.
The Lizard Lady explained, "There are hundreds of them all over the place!" between sobs.
A couple of teachers comforted the Lizard Lady and a couple of teachers went into her room to see what the problem was. After a little investigation it was ascertained that a few lizards were loose in the Lizard Lady's classroom.
"I guess she doesn't like lizards as much as she thought she did," said Andy to Jeff.
Jeff smiled and said, "I guess not, but I think she's over-reacting just a bit."
One of the teachers asked for student volunteers to go into the fourth grade room and capture the lizards. A group of five boys were sent in to take care of the problem. This crew included Jeff and Andy, who were famous for their lizard capturing skills. It took the boys about forty minutes to either capture or chase all the lizards out of the classroom. The teacher supervising the boys found a desk drawer on the floor and slid it back into the desk as the boys chased, cornered, and captured lizards. During this time the rest of the students in the upper grades enjoyed freetime on the playground.
As the boys finished up, the teacher supervising their clean up efforts said, "I wonder how all these lizards got in here."
"It looks like she pulled the drawer all the way out when she saw them," said Jeff.
Andy gave Jeff a look warning him not to say anything more.
"Maybe they liked it in here," said one of the other boys helping catch and shoo away the lizards.
"Maybe, but I have a hunch there's more to this little mystery," said the teacher as he looked around at the five boys in the class. Then he nodded his head a few times and said, "But this is probably a mystery that will never be solved unless of course Andy and Jeff know anything that they're not telling us." This teacher had been Andy's and Jeff's fifth grade teacher and he knew the boys well enough to realize that they were capable of pulling off a prank like this, the only thing he couldn't figure out was why they would want to do such a thing. He didn't know about the way the Lizard Lady had treated them unfairly at recess on the last three days. Luckily for the boys, their fifth grade teacher didn't feel a compulsion to further investigate the matter or share his hunch with the school's principal.
Later the boys learned that the Lizard Lady went home and that a substitute was called in to take her class. It also turned out that the Lizard People took the event as a sign or omen indicating to them that they should leave town and find another town where they could live in peace and harmony.