The Goat-Roping Contest


"I won last year and I'm going to win again this year," proclaimed Patrick.

"That's not what I hear," said Doug.

"Why? What did you hear?" asked Patrick.

"I heard that Sally Swanson says that she's going to win," said Doug.

"That's right. I heard her bragging about how she was going to beat you this year," said James.

"Yeah, right, like that's going to happen," said Patrick.

"You never know, she's been practicing with her parents," said Sawyer.

Patrick, Doug, James, and Sawyer were sitting in Patrick's livingroom. They were near the end of a three hour video game playing session. It was eleven o'clock on a Saturday morning and it was just about time for them to go out and actually do something.

"Well, then maybe we should go practice roping some goats just to make sure she doesn't win," said Doug.

"I don't need to practice. I'm already the best there ever has been and ever will be," said Patrick. He wasn't actually serious, but he tried his best to sound like he was serious.

"Yeah, right, you were just lucky last year," said James.

"Yeah, and now you're in my age division," said Sawyer smiling as he put the emphasis on the word "my." Sawyer didn't do that well during the previous year, but he still enjoyed the competition and he wasn't exactly preoccupied with winning.

A few minutes later the boys rode their ATVs over to the local goat farm where they were allowed to practice their roping skills. Sally, a couple of her friends, and Sally's parents were just leaving as the boys parked their ATVs.

"Practice all you want, but the best you'll do is second place," said Sally to Patrick poking her head out of the window of her parents' car as they were backing their car away from a wooden fence.

"Yeah, just keep talking," said Patrick as he held up a hand and shook his head.

"Yeah, just be quiet Sally, no one wants to hear your annoying yapping," said James.

Sally pulled her head back into the car and her mother backed the car into the road.

Patrick, James, and Sawyer climbed up on the wooden fence of the corral and Doug took the first turn at attempting to rope one of the kids. He chased after one of the kids and sort of cornered it. Then he flung the lasso at the kid and hit the kid with the lasso, but failed to rope it. The other boys laughed.

"You can't just hit it with the rope," said Patrick.

"Yeah, this isn't a goat-whipping contest," joked James.

"I know, I just missed," said Doug.

So Doug tried a few more times and finally managed to catch a kid with the lasso.

Sawyer took the next turn and he fared about as well as Doug. James' effort was an improvement over both of the two boys, but he still wasn't terribly good at goat-roping. After the other three boys had taken their turns, Patrick confidently stepped down off the fence and said, "Well, boys, let a man show you how it's done!" Patrick was actually younger than Doug or Sawyer and about the same age as James. None of the boys weighed over eighty pounds.

Patrick roped the first goat in just five seconds.

"You got lucky!" said James.

"Yeah, you roped the slowest one!" said Doug.

Patrick just smiled at his friends, wound up the rope, and went after another. He roped this one even more efficiently than the first one.

"Yeah, whatever, that one practically stood still for you," said Doug.

"Yeah, I think it wanted to get roped," said James.

Patrick shook his head and smiled. He wound up the lasso quickly this time and went after another kid. This time he turned and threw the lasso at a kid that had been directly behind him in a single movement as soon as he finished winding up the rope.

"Whoa! That was like less than a half second that time," said James who was obviously amazed by what he had just seen.

"How'd you do that?" asked Doug.

"Watch and learn," said Patrick, holding up a finger before untying the kid he had just roped.

He pulled off the exact same trick again.

"I bet you couldn't do that blindfolded," said James.

Patrick looked at James quizically and said, "How am I supposed to rope something I can't even see?"

"You could always try," said Sawyer.

"Yeah, just see if you can do it," said Doug.

Patrick smiled and looked around for a blindfold. "What am I supposed to use for a blindfold?" he asked.

"Just use your shirt," said James.

Patrick took off his shirt and tried to put it over his face, but couldn't get it to stay in place. The boys jumped down from the rail they were sitting on and helped Patrick to adjust his shirt so that it would work as a blindfold. Once the shirt was in place and James, Doug, and Sawyer were convinced that Patrick couldn't see anything, they led him to the center of the corral.

"How am I supposed to rope them if I can't even see them?" asked Patrick.

"Listen really carefully," said Sawyer.

The boys backed away from Patrick.

"We'll shew them toward you," said Doug.

The boys sort of chased the kids toward Patrick and he was able to hear them. After a bit he flung the rope toward a kid and to everyone's amazement he snagged it.

The owner of the goat farm had been watching the boys from a distance. He couldn't believe what he'd just seen. He walked over and as he approached the boys he called out, "Do that again."

The boys let the kid Patrick had lassoed go and then they herded the kids in Patrick's direction again. Patrick listened and again he snagged a kid.

"How in the tarnations did he do that?" asked the owner of the goat farm.

"Beats me. I didn't even know I could do it," said Patrick.

"Do it one more time. Maybe you're just getting lucky," said the owner.

James, Sawyer, and Doug let the kid lose and herded the kids again and Patrick snagged another kid.

"That's three in a row! I don't believe I've ever seen anyone do anything like that," said the owner of the goat farm.

Patrick took his shirt off his head and said, "That's enough practice for today!"

"If you were a grown up I'd buy you a beer, but since you're just a kid I'll just shake your hand," said the owner of the goat farm. He walked up and congratulated Patrick for what he had just done. "Well done, young man," said the owner of the goat farm as he shook Patrick's hand.

Later that week, one day during lunch at school, Sally and a couple of her friends made a point of stopping by the table where Patrick, Sawyer, James, and Doug and a few other boys were eating their lunch.

"Look at all the losers. I hope you guys know that you don't have a chance of beating me in the goat-roping contest on Saturday," she said.

"I bet that all four of us beat you," said James.

"Not a chance," said Sally.

"You should see Sally rope goats, she's incredible," said one of Sally's friends.

"Really? Then maybe it's a waste of time for us to even show up at the goat-roping contest," said Patrick with such sarcastically feigned exaggerated sincerety that both his friends and Sally's friends were momentarily confused.

After a moment of silence, Sawyer said, "Maybe we should just give Sally the award right here and now."

"Yeah, since she's so incredibly awesome maybe we should hang her picture up in every classroom," said Doug.

James snickered and said, "Yeah, that way we could use it as a dartboard!"

"Very funny," said one of Sally's friends.

"But you know what?" asked Sally.

"No, what?" asked Patrick.

"I want you guys to compete against me in the goat-roping contest so I can see the look on your faces when I beat you," said Sally.

"Alright, but I hope you have a good imagination, because that's the only way you'll ever see anything like that happen," said Doug.

"We'll see. I hope you guys realize that there aren't separate boys' and girls' divisions and that my times last year were good enough to place third in the boys' division," said Sally.

"Yeah and she's been practicing like crazy this year," said one of Sally's friends in a snobby fashion.

"What are you talking about? They aren't combining the boys with the girls are they?" asked Doug.

"And who cares about your time? They herd the goats in for the girls to make it easier," said James.

"Oh, you boys are all alike! You're always making excuses," said Sally.

"Yeah," agreed one of Sally's friends.

"But you won't be able to make any excuses after the contest!" said Sally.

"We won't need to," said Patrick.

"You guys are so full of bologna!" said one of Sally's friends.

"I'll see you losers some other time," said Sally as she walked away followed closely by her friends.

"Why is Sally acting all bad like she's good a goat-roping or something?" asked Doug late Friday afternoon while the boys were hanging out at Sawyer's house.

Sawyer's dad was sitting in the livingroom reading the newspaper while the boys were playing a video game. "Well, maybe it's because she really is that good," said Sawyer's dad.

"No way! There's no way that she's really that good," said Sawyer emphasizing the word "that" in his reply.

"That's not what her father tells me everyday at work," said Sawyer's dad.

"What does he know?" asked James.

"Or it could have something to do with the fact the boys and girls divisions were combined this year," said Sawyer's dad.

"Huh?" said Doug.

"They're really doing that?" asked James.

"Really? I thought she just had her facts wrong," said Patrick.

"Yeah, I just figured she didn't know what she was talking about," said Sawyer.

"Well, some parents got together and complained that they thought it was sexist to have two separate divisions for boys and girls. They insisted that the divisions be based strictly on age only and not by gender," explained Sawyer's dad.

"That's crazy," said James.

"That's what I say," said Sawyer's father.

"Why did they do something as dumb as that?" asked Sawyer.

"They say it sends a message of gender equality," said Sawyer's dad.

"But hardly any girls are going to win!" said Patrick.

"That may be part of the problem. Did you boys know that Sally won her division last year?" asked Sawyer's dad.

"Really?" asked James.

"But that's just the girls' division and so no one really cares," said Doug.

"Yeah, I didn't even notice," said Patrick.

"Me neither," admitted Sawyer.

"And that's part of the problem. By combining the boys and girls divisions, if a girl wins everyone will have to notice," said Sawyer's dad.

"Yeah, but the girls aren't going to win," said James.

"Sally might do better than you think," said Sawyer's father.

"I doubt it," said Doug.

"And that's part of the problem. Sally is probably feeling just a little nervous about the competition. Last year she was the winner of her division, but this year she has to compete against all you boys. Her way of dealing with the pre-competition anxiety seems to be to talk big like she's the best there's ever been," explained Sawyer's dad.

"But that's going to make her look really stupid when she loses," said Sawyer.

"Which makes her all the more nervous. Which makes her talk even more about how good she is. I've seen lots of people like that," said Sawyer's dad.

"So what's going to happen when she doesn't even place?" asked James.

"Hopefully that won't happen. Hopefully she'll at least make top five in one of the events," said Sawyer's father.

"With the way she's practiced with her parents so much, she ought to be able to at least do pretty alright, I guess," said Patrick.

"But what if hardly any girls win? Won't the parents want to have separate divisions next year, then?" asked Doug.

"Who knows? I don't have any daughters and so I didn't really get involved," said Sawyer's dad.

The actual goat-roping contest didn't start until two in the afternoon on Saturday. There was a fair all day long with booths, exhibits, and various shows. For the most part, the goat-roping contest was the focal point of the fair, but there was plenty going on to attract the interests of everyone in town and even people from out of town, for that matter.

Sally, Doug, Sawyer, James, and Patrick all competed in the ten through twelve year old division. Just before the beginning of the contest an announcer said over a loud speaker, "This year there are a total of forty-three participants in the ten through twelve year old division. Eleven are girls and thirty-two are boys."

The boys over-heard a couple of parents comparing these numbers with those from the previous year.

"Weren't there more girls in the contest last year?" asked one parent.

"I believe so," said another parent.

By now the boys were wearing their competition numbers and were waiting in the participants' area near the main corral in the center of the fair grounds. Actually the fair grounds was just the high school and the adjacent park with the corral being a temporary structure set up in the middle of the football field.

Sally walked by the boys just before the start of competition and said, "I can't believe that you sorry losers actually are going through with this. I hope you don't cry too bad after I beat you."

"Good luck, Sally," said Doug.

"Yeah, good luck," said Sawyer.

"I don't need luck, but it's going to take more than luck for you losers to beat me," said Sally.

James and Patrick barely even acknowledged Sally's presence. Neither of them felt like she had a remote chance of beating them and they didn't want to take a chance on saying anything rude that might get them kicked out of the competition.

Sawyer was the first of the boys to take his turn in the goat-roping event. He managed to snag his goat in twenty-one seconds which was the best he'd ever done in an actual competition. This put him in first place. The top five scores were displayed on a tally board near the competition area in front of the largest set of bleachers.

"You made that look too easy!" said Patrick congratulating Sawyer as he climbed over the corral fence.

"Enjoy first place while you've got it, because there's no way you're staying there!" yelled out Sally.

By the time that James took his turn, Sawyer had dropped to second place. James aggressively went after his goat and had it tied up in nineteen seconds. This put him in first place by one second.

"Too bad, you're in third place now," said Patrick to Sawyer as James climbed out of the competition area.

"Way to go, James," said Sawyer patting James on the back as James joined them.

"Yeah, pretty good James," said Patrick.

Sally walked up to James a few moments later and said, "First place, huh? Well, you know that's not going to last!"

"We'll see," said James.

Doug was the thirtieth participant to enter the corral. He chased after his kid and somehow it slipped past him and he had to chase after it some more before he roped it and tied it up. Doug wound up slipping into fourth place with a time of twenty-two seconds.

Several participants took their turns before Patrick's name was called. In that time the only thing that had changed on the top five board was the fifth spot.

As he climbed over the rail into the corral, Patrick looked the kid he was about to rope in the eyes. The kid stared back determined to evade Patrick. Patrick was even more determined to rope the kid faster than he could tie a shoe. The buzzer sounded and in just six seconds Patrick had the kid tied up. The kid barely had time to react and the crowd was stunned. No one had ever roped and tied up a kid in less than twelve seconds in any age group in any goat-roping competition since the beginning of the annually held event.

Patrick turned and looked at the crowd. There was silence. The mouths of all the spectators were dropped open in amazement. Patrick smiled and held up his hands and the crowd cheered. The announcer, regained his senses and said, "Contestant number thirty-nine has just set a new all-time record. He just totally annihilated the previous record!"

After Patrick jumped over the rails to where the other competitors were waiting he slapped hands with all his friends and a bunch of other people who were so impressed that they just had to congratulate him. After all the commotion had worn down the next contestant was called. It was Sally. She was so stunned by what she had just seen that she fell when she tried to crawl over the rail into the corral. It took her a few moments to get up and walk over to the starting spot. At the starting bell she chased after her goat. Every time she thought she had it cornered it slipped away. This happened over and over until the time out bell sounded after forty-five seconds. She walked over to the far side of the corral away from the other competitors and crawled over the rail and walked away with her head down. None of the remaining competitors broke into the top five places.

None of the boys said anything about Sally's performance until the next day when they got together at Sawyer's house. Patrick was wearing the buckle he won for winning the competition. The boys sat around the kitchen table and talked about the picture of them in the newspaper. Patrick had taken first place and James came in second. Sawyer took fourth place and Doug took fifth. Another boy they knew wound up in third place. It was customary for the winners of each age division to pose for a picture together following the contest.

"Doug looks like he's in a hurry cuz he needs to use the bathroom or something," joked James.

"Well you look like you're eyes are closed or something," said Doug.

"Look at Sawyer, he looks like he's going to cry tears of joy or something," said Patrick.

"I do not," protested Sawyer.

"Poor Sally, I wonder what happened to her," said James.

"I don't know, but she choked and she choked bad," said Doug.

"Serves her right for all her talk," said James.

"Yeah, but I kind of feel sorry for her," said Patrick.

"Really?" asked Sawyer.

"No. She got what she deserved!" said Patrick without any hesitation.



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